Clinical jokes

Before you read these, let me tell you - All these jokes actually happened!!

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Medical student taking history from an old village lady.
MS: Ma'm, what did you come with? ( He meant the symptoms that she had )
Patient: Dear boy, I came here with 15 rs and only a mat to sleep on......

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Medical student taking history in Orthopaedics ward from  a person with spinal cord injury following an accident: "Did any one else in your home, your father / mother / siblings meet with a similar accident at any point of time?"

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 MS in Gynec wards: Ma'm is there any H/O diseases like Diabetes mellitus, Hypertension or Twin pregnancy in your family?
Patient: Is twin pregnancy a disease?

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Anatomy practical exams; Examiner wants the student to take a bone and explain it's anatomy: 

Examiner: Take one (Looking at the bones over his table)

Student:  No sir (Looking shy)

Examiner: Why man? Take one, I say.....

The student took a glass of  tea over the table :-)

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Anatomy practical exams again. Examiner shows clay model of placental circulation and demands - Explain this!

Student (Looking rather perplexed): Tree with branches sir!

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Now, please add your jokes in the comments below.

Joke : Ragging a first year

The house surgeon saw a new face in the ward actively taking history from a patient. "Ah a fresher - I will give him a ragging"' he thought. He approached the fresher with a serious face as if he was a senior professor. "Which year, Eh?", the HS asked teasingly. "First year, sir", prompt reply. "First year in the wards taking history, Ha ha. Let me see what you have taken. Ok, present the case", he told the fresher. The fresher obliged. The case presentation was so impressive and detailed, so the house surgeon was asking him why he was going to unnecessary points. But the fresher had a sound reason for his each history detail that the house surgeon was impressed. " Is your father a doctor?", was the HS's next question. "No" came the answer. "Which book have you started reading?" was the next question. " Sir, Harrison, Davidson,........" and the fresher listed some books which the HS had not heard off. "Hey that's brilliant! I never read those books in my first year MBBS" the HS said. At this the fresher raised a brow, he became serious and asked "I am a first year Post Graduate in general medicine". Hearing this the HS said' "sorry sir" and fled from the scene.

Confusion created by Acronyms

A trauma surgeon and MD physician were chatting over Yahoo messenger. The MD wanted to know about latest treatment for his child's bow leg deformity. The chat sequence went thus:
MD: It was following RTA. Failed to detect early.
Ortho: RTA! And you didnot take an Xray that time?
MD: No, we took Xray only after noting the bowing.
Ortho: What about the normal leg; Is there gross disparity?
MD: No, it's bilaterally the same.
Ortho: What bilateral bow legs following Road Traffic Accident (RTA)?!!!!
MD: No, following Renal Tubular Acidosis (RTA)...... Ha ha ha

Mnemonics : Funny Video

The Duck Hunt (Joke)

A Physician, Pediatrician, Surgeon and a Pathologist went for a duck hunt. The Pediatrician ran like a boy and grasped his little gun at the first site of a duck. But he thought that his gun would not suffice to shoot it down. " If there's a little one, I will shoot " he said and passed out the opportunity to the physician. The physician was thinking, " Hey, is it really a duck? It may be some other bird looking like a duck. There are a lot of DDs. I will have to confirm before shooting ". At this point the Surgeon took his gun, shot down the duck and turned to the pathologist, " Go see if it's a duck ".

Translation in Russian:

А врач, педиатр, хирург и патолог пошли на утку охотятся. В педиатр побежал, как мальчик, и захватил его мало пушки на первом месте расположения утка. Но он считал, что его пистолет не будет достаточно для того, чтобы стрелять его. "Если есть немного один, я буду стрелять" он сказал, и сознание возможности врача. Врач думал, "Эй, это действительно одна утка? Это может быть ряд других птиц похожий на утиный. Есть много дифференциального диагноза. Мне придется подтверждать перед съемкой". На данный момент Хирург вытащил пистолет, выстрелил вниз на утку, и обратился к патологоанатома: "Идите ли, что это утка".

Joke: The need for Mnemonics

The greatest enemy of memory during a viva is anxiety. This was an incident related by one of my favorite teachers when I was a first year medical student. It was a Viva session in physiology practicals. The candidate was asked how to test Glossopharyngeal and Vagus nerve functions. Due to tension he was sweating and could not recall anything. The examiner was sympathetic with him a gave him a clue - "something in the mouth" (He wanted to get the answer that he would check the position of UVULA). At this, the confused candidate burst out "Sir, we can check the position of VULVA after asking the patient to say AAH".